Sunday with Big Zuu: ‘It’s Five-a-side – and it gets competitive’

When are you up? About 11am. Then I eat some fruit in front of Sunday Brunch on Channel 4. It’s food, it’s music, it’s chat… I feel like that show was created for me. (Big up Tim Lovejoy and Rimmers.) My mum’s a fruit fanatic, so she fills the house with it. I’ll have a banana, an apple, some grapes, bang a load of water and I’m ready.

Sunday afternoon? I play five-a-side with my friends. We’ll have 40 lads there, split into teams, then all play each other. It’s winner stays on, so it gets competitive, because if you lose, you might wait half an hour to play again. We’re all getting old and some of us are smokers, so it’s not Champions League standard, but it’s decent. I’m a striker, like fat Ronaldo in his Inter Milan days. I’m left-footed, so I call myself the fat Mo Salah, too.

What’s to eat? After a shower we head to my friend’s mum’s house for Sunday dinner. She’s called Auntie Velicia, she’s from St Lucia and she cooks the maddest Caribbean food: pepper steak, lamb chops, roast chicken, jerk salmon, rice and peas. We line up, pile our plates high, then chill on the porch. All different generations come around. I’ll chat to a little kid about his TikTok or have a crazy debate with the older uncles about how football’s not the same any more. Aunt Vel’s is good vibes – there’s always a drink on offer if you want to get involved: rum punch, wine or bubbly.

Sunday tunes? At football, I’ll take along a speaker and play music to get me hyped: UK rap, grime and drill. At Velicia’s, they’ll be blazing Caribbean anthems: new tunes by Skillibeng and Popcaan, mixed with more traditional stuff.

Sunday evening? I’ll head to the studio. It’s Sunday so the neighbours don’t want to hear it, so I’m sorry, neighbours. I’ve got a week’s worth of inspiration to put into my music.

Sunday night viewing? Match of The Day 2. Not the main show with Gary; number two is the real deal. Then Hardtalk on BBC World News. Stephen Sackur is so sick. He’s ruthless. News at night is more unfiltered. Past 11pm, that’s when the news gets good.

When’s bedtime? I have to get my eight hours. Beautiful as Sunday is, ain’t nuttin’ worse than being tired on Monday. I hate going into the week with bad energy.

Big Zuu’s Big Eats, series 2, starts 7 June on Dave, with all episodes available as a box set on UKTV Play